Learning to be an adult in college

Published 03/01/2017

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A few weeks ago as I was doing homework in my dorm, I was interrupted by a FaceTime call from my younger brother. I quickly answered the call, surprised to see that he was outside in the dark. In the background I heard my parents saying that they had a surprise for me. Flashing me a huge smile, my brother stepped into a car and revved up the engine. Though I was confused at first, I soon figured it out — my parents had bought me my first car! Not expecting a car until my birthday in April, I was extremely grateful, making sure to thank my parents several times.

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Fortunately, my parents were able to drive my car to Charlottesville the next weekend. Since then I have been using it to do a variety of things, from grocery shopping to volunteering. However, this past weekend was this first time I drove myself home from U.Va. Accustomed to having my parents pick me up and drop me off, I felt a new sense of independence during my drive home. I could leave whenever I wanted to and — with my car’s Bluetooth connection — could freely sing along to my Spotify playlists. More importantly, transportation was now one less thing I had to rely on my parents for.

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Nonetheless, when I finally made it home, I was reminded that there are several ‘adult’ things I have yet to learn how to do. Pulling out some paperwork that my previous jobs had mailed me, my dad told me that I needed to file taxes. I immediately told him I had no idea how to do that and would need help. My dad later talked to my uncle, who has tax software and happily agreed to file my taxes for me. Though I was able to avoid it this year, I know that I will soon need to know how to file taxes by myself. It is an important life skill, as well as a part of adulthood.

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Another life skill I have yet to improve upon is cooking. During my weekend at home, my family had enough leftovers in the fridge that I did not have to cook anything. I put a piece of garlic bread in the toaster oven to go with some leftover spaghetti — however, I let the bread sit in the oven too long and burnt the edge of it. Although I still ate part of the bread, the kitchen smelled of burnt toast for the rest of the day. With this reminder of how bad I am at preparing food, I now feel further compelled to expand my cooking skills during my free time this semester and over the summer break.

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Over the course of the weekend, I had to ask my dad for money to pay my dues for my dance club. Though the dues were not very expensive, they reminded me that I am not completely independent of my parents. While I do have a job, I do not make enough money to cover all of my expenses. However, I will eventually have to financially support myself as I earn my degree and hopefully obtain a well-paying job in the future. Before that time comes, I will simply need to improve upon budgeting and spending the money I earn — as well as the money given to me — wisely.

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With all of these things to learn or work on, it is very easy for me to feel afraid about becoming a real adult. With my second year almost coming to a close, graduation is not that far away. Nonetheless, I cannot discount the various steps I have taken towards adulthood already. I not only manage my schoolwork and activities but also buy food, clothes and other necessities without my parents’ assistance. I also take advantage of opportunities, such as jobs and internships, without my parents having to tell me to. These steps toward independence ultimately assure me that adulthood is nothing I should fear. Instead, I look forward to learning more ‘adult’ skills and growing as a person, grateful that I have my parents to love and support me along the way.

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